Online Dating & Illness

It's been so long since I've uploaded a "Young wild and spoonie" graphic, I've decided to change the name because well....our bodies don't really allow us to be wild! I've changed the name to "Young & Chronically Ill"  I may be slightly off in numbering... aheh, sorry... I'd say I'm approximately at 56 and I like to kind of group things into one number. So here are some graphics encouraging young, sick babes and lads no matter how severe that they are still lovable and date-able and that even if we have been forced into the life of a shut-in or are always in/out of hospitals we can still have somewhat of a romantic life through the internet. I'm not saying it's going to be easy dating with illnesses I'm just saying

Don't feel like no one will want you because your disabilities are obvious.
Don't feel like "you have nothing to bring to the table"
Don't feel like your "too disabled" to be loved or be a good partner.
Don't feel like your "too much to handle"
Don't feel like every person whose interested is a pity date/sex.
Don't feel like your only option is to date a devotee/disability fetishizer (I know some people prefer it but you can be with any kind of person your disabilities do not make you ugly)
Don't feel like you'll just anchor your partner or spouse down when you do find someone whose accepting of you. If they are with you, then they chose you and everything that comes with you!!
And don't ever stay or settle for someone who is not good for you because you feel like "you should feel lucky to have someone at all"


Not all people are okay with chronic illnesses/disabilities but that is not something  you should feel shame for. Not all people are meant to connect. But there are people out there who will love you for you, you are so much more than your illness(es)! I've heard stories of people who have been completely bedridden or housebound for years and have gotten married or are still married. We all deserve love. Illness, even severe illness is not always an automatic disqualifier to relationships.
 In the age of online dating those of us with chronic conditions have  more access to dating than before. It doesn't necessarily make it easy to date but it helps. I know I wouldn't have any semblance of a romantic life without it, and I know another spoonie who met her boyfriend online who she now lives with.

Some people feel a little wary of online dating with disabilities but I say go for it! I usually write a little bit on it or even joke about it but I don't disclose everything, I keep the focus on me and I always have pictures of me using mobility devices up.  I've found the more confident and accepting of my disabilities I became the better the experience. You just kind of have to figure out what works for you some people would rather bring it up later. I would rather who ever is interested to know about it and make the decision before messaging me on whether or not they are okay with it from then on I just talk about it casually. When you don't mention it at all it kind of creates this "fear of the unknown" or it will stay "That thing we don't talk about" especially if your this persons first experience with disabilities.

I'll do little "skype dates" before trying to meet them so I can get a better idea of how they are in person and I have a limited ability to go outside as well so it's a less strenuous way to kind of introduce yourself to one another.  With any online connection I try to meet them a couple times in public before mostly having them come over. I have had someone come over for an indoor first date though, and met an online friend in a similar way but this was only after I'd spoken to them for months. This is an option but please do so at your own risk.

This is just what I do, I'm not the authority on dating with chronic illness I just wanted to encourage anyone thinking about it that they should go for it. Even if you don't feel comfortable meeting anyone you can always date someone who lives a little far and have a relationship that's mostly online/thru skype. Who doesn't love being told how cute they are when they feel awful?